Have you ever had someone assume your content was AI … when it wasn’t? It’s happening more and more. People are questioning photos, videos, and even whether there’s a real person behind a brand.
In this episode, we talk about why showing your unposed face, sharing your unpolished story, and sounding like your imperfect self can be one of the smartest ways to build trust in an AI world.
In this episode:
- Why people are becoming more skeptical of what they see online
- Why real photos and video matter more than ever
- How to let people get to know the person behind your business
- Why “perfect” isn’t the goal anymore
- Simple ways to build trust in an AI world
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LISTEN ON
042: Standing Out as a Real Person in an AI-World
[00:00:00]
Laurie: Hey, hey, welcome back to episode 42 of Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie. We are just two normal women who have stumbled upon businesses in different ways, and we have figured out how to make our businesses fit our lives instead of the other way around, through the ups and downs. And I think when we first started this, Becky and I have been friends for a few years now, kind of put together a collective resume.
We’re like, we’ve just, like between the two of us, we’ve done, done almost all of it, like conferences and, you know, viral blogs on recipes and [00:01:00] memberships. And so it’s really fun to be able to come on and, and talk, you know, and save, save you mistakes and time. We share our good stuff. We share our hard stuff. We share terrible mistakes, wastes of money.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: And, I don’t know, I think we’re pretty darn authentic and honest and real, which brings us to our topic of today. We are talking about how to be a real person in an AI world and the struggles that we have. Last week, on the episode, we started talking about Becky’s welcome series, in which she got some surprising responses from real people.
And, and so we went into this truth that businesses today that are growing, that are gonna be around for a while, it’s not about more content, it’s about more connection. Then we start talking about the difficulties with connecting in this AI world. So Becky, where do you wanna start with all that today?
Becky: Yeah. Well, l kind of where we left off is that, you know, one of the things I mentioned on the last episode was when I sat down to [00:02:00] write the new welcome sequence emails. I almost set out to, to think how, how can I prove myself that I’m a real person? How can I prove that I’m not just a computer? And, it’s a struggle. So you said, you had mentioned in the last episode too that you have written, personally you, human Laurie, has written posts that people point their fingers at and say, “That was AI, and I’m unfollowing.”
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: When like, “But it was really me.”
Laurie: Yeah, I know. If you’re too good, you get called out for being AI, and if you’re not, there’s a phrase or a word or a way that you used a dash or something and then people like it. It’s like all ends of it, and I think really what’s happening these days is we are all suspicious and skeptical any time, we hear or see anything.
You know, on Instagram, I just remember I was showing my kids some fun pictures of things, and I’m like, “Look how cool this is. Look how cool this is,” and there was a table like… This, you’re gonna laugh at this ’cause you’re gonna be like, “Really, Laurie?” There was a [00:03:00] table that had an, an aquarium inside it, and they’re like, “Mom, that’s AI.”
And I’m like, “What?” They’re like, “Mom, that’s AI. That’s not real.” I’m like, oh my gosh, like I wanted to figure out how to buy this, you know, cute coffee table with fish swimming in it. And they’re like… And I’m like, “How can you tell?” And they’re like, “Mom, really?” And, and since then, and that was maybe a year ago or something, I’m a late adopter of everything, so it takes me a while.
But like, it’s almost like everything we see and hear, the reels with the pet adoptions, the, you know, the, the voices we hear, customer service, you know, on anything we reach out to, either on a phone or, you know, online, the chat boxes, all this. It’s almost like we’re assuming we’re not talking to a real person unless somebody proves it. Like, prove it. Prove it.
Becky: Yes, it is absolutely the opposite of what it used to be when I entered the online space. When I entered the online space, I started a blog when it was called a blog, not a website. I was [00:04:00] writing blog posts, not articles. I was sharing personal stories on the Internet of what I did that weekend, and that was how people used blogs back then. It was fully, wholly personal, and man, have the times changed.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah. So how do we prove we’re real people these days? And well, first off, does it matter? If you’re wondering if it matters, listen to last week’s episode because it does matter. So, it does matter. So how do we do it? How do we do it well? Where are you gravitating now in your business, Becky?
Becky: Yeah, so this definitely isn’t a, a general how-to for everybody, but for me personally, it’s been a really interesting journey now because I have bucked pretty hard against social media for a while now. I have wanted my business to stay present enough on social media, but I did not want to live on social media. I saw so many people posting so many times a day, especially when Stories became a thing. It was one thing when Instagram, to being successful on Instagram was posting one picture from [00:05:00] your day one time. There were no carousels with twenty pictures in a row. It was one picture once a day, and that’s how you stayed connected with people.
And then when Stories became a thing, I actually have to admit, I love Stories. That’s my go-to when I wanna disconnect and kinda just doom scroll, I am on Instagram Stories. So I love them, I love them, and, as a content creator, as an online business, I felt like that is going to suck every bit of my time and my life and my attention and my focus, and I’m unwilling to do that. So I had really dug my heels in hard on social media for quite a while now, and I wanted to kind of hide in a cave.
Laurie: So just for context, you were heavy on Instagram for how many years, and then you took how many years or months off? Like you said, “I kinda dug in, I kinda backed off.”
Becky: Yeah, I don’t know that I was ever super heavy or consistent on Instagram long term. I would have spurts.
Laurie: Okay.
Becky: Where I’d be like, “Oh, this is fun,” and I would post and post and post, and then I would pull away. And so.
Laurie: Okay.
Becky: My [00:06:00] success is not proven with Instagram ’cause I’ve never been consistent with it, cause I change my mind on social media all the time.
Laurie: Okay. Okay, cool
Becky: So that’s how it’s gone. I can’t even remember a timeline. At least a year that, at least a year, probably more like two or three, that I have really tried to pull back, and I’ve posted like graphics of, with Blessings on Instagram, but not me on Instagram.
Laurie: Yeah, I remember the discussions about that with you and your kids, and like how much do you wanna be on, and how much do you wanna open yourself up to criticism and stuff. So I was gonna say about a year or two ago, I noticed a difference with your vulnerability or openness or frequency on social media.
Becky: And I would say all of that is combined. So part of it was practical. I didn’t feel like I had the bandwidth to live online. And be available to everybody all the time and respond to text messages or DMs all the time, and part of it is a privacy struggle of my life is intertwined with a lot of other people’s lives, my kids’ lives, my family, and church friends, and that’s a hard boundary to respect as well. So there’s lots of different things.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: But the reason [00:07:00] that I right now, maybe I’ll change my mind next week, but right now I am kind of going I’m becoming more visible on Instagram Stories again is because I want my audience to know that I’m real. I want them to see that this is my dog Biscuit at my feet. Do you see his tongue hanging out of his mouth? How cute.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: I want them to see, I don’t show my kids’ faces right now, but I want them to see my kids’ toes, that we just swam in the swimming pool over there.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: My Bible open in the morning doing my morning quiet time. I want them to see real glimpses from a real human because I want them to know that I’m a real human.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: It’s kind of like proving that I’m real in an AI world. As much as I can.
Laurie: Yeah. It, you know, and if it is true that the future of business is not gonna be about more content, it’s gonna be about connection, which we totally believe it is. We’re seeing our audiences respond to it. It’s, you know, if it’s about content, we may as well just all hang it up, right? But that [00:08:00] connection, that relational piece, that, that guidance, that you’re not alone, that, you know, that we see you, you know, AI can’t.
It can counterfeit it, but it cannot provide real connection. And again, if you listened to last week’s episode, totally believe that connection is very spiritual. I believe this is a God-given thing, and if we’re gonna do smart, soulful business, we’ve gotta listen to it. Like, we’ve gotta listen to this, this draw for relationships and connection, you know?
When, before we started doing this episode, I looked up a Pinocchio quote because when, when we were talking about we’re gonna, we need to prove that we’re a real person, I thought about Pinocchio, you know, saying, “I’m real, I’m real. I’m a real boy,” you know? And here was this wooden, you know, marionette-type puppet thing, right, that had to be moved and didn’t really have, you know, the insides, right, of a person becoming a real, a real boy.
And there was a quote, in the, you know, 1940 Disney film, where the fairy that was talking to him [00:09:00] said, “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you’ll be a real boy.” And I’m like, okay, I don’t remember this quote at all, right?
Becky: Me either.
Laurie: But where did these words come from? “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you’ll be a real boy.” And the reality is, AI doesn’t have to be brave. AI’s not a person. There’s no fear. There’s no vulnerability. AI does not have to be truthful. If any of you have experienced much with AI, it oftentimes is not. And AI does not have to be unselfish. You know, these traits, being brave, being truthful, being unselfish, like, how does that hit you, Becky, in light of what we’re talking about?
Becky: Well, when you read me that quote, I mean, my jaw dropped to the floor ’cause I’m like, well, if that isn’t applicable. Like, yeah, that is what I’m seeking to do by showing up on social media. I am seeking to show them you know, with social media, for me, [00:10:00] I would say the bravery comes into play because of what you mentioned earlier with the vulnerability. It is scary to show up online to of criticism. But also, even if you’re not talking to critics, it’s a tough thing to draw the line on what is appropriate to share and when it’s appropriate to share it. You and I have talked about do we share the struggle in hindsight? Is it smarter to wait?
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: And I think most of the time that answer is yes. But there are people that I follow that when they invite me into the struggle, number one, boy, does it deepen my personal connection with them, even though I don’t know them personally at all, and I really appreciate it. I usually relate to the struggle, and I’m usually feeling pretty seen in what they’re going through and how they’re processing it. And so it’s a struggle. But that bravery, that brave word.
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: That’s important, showing up online.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And yeah, selfless, and what’s the third one? Brave, selfless, and?
Laurie: It was… Sorry, I have to look it up again. [00:11:00] Brave, truthful, and unselfish.
Becky: Truthful. Yeah.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I think, I.
Laurie: Ooh, and that’s a tough one, isn’t it? Right? You know, I had somebody mention to me that they say I look so happy, “You look so happy on social media.” But I know social media can just tell one side of whatever, you know? And I thought, “And that’s the truth of it,” is that, you know, what is the whole truth?
How much do we reveal? What proves us to be a real person? Now, neither Becky or I are gonna tell you to let it all hang out in the raw, bleeding moments, right? Like, it’s not wise. It’s also honestly not mature. Like, it’s not mature. We end up regretting things we say. But, but the little peeks into things, I think the acknowledgement that there’s a struggle.
You know, I think about my divorce. I got divorced two years ago. You’ve probably heard me mention it if you’re a regular listener to the podcast, and you probably have a lot of questions because I haven’t shared a lot about it. You know, and I’ve been invited to be on a podcast talking about my divorce ’cause I divorced a pastor, and this was a kind of a podcast that deals with faith issues and, you know, how the church has dealt with things, [00:12:00] and I’m not ready.
And the reason I’m not ready isn’t because I’m not being truthful, but the perspective is still shaping. You know, like, you don’t have perspective to go far enough away, and how I would’ve explained it or processed it six months ago, I would talk about it differently today. And I know it would’ve been very different a year beyond that.
And so we’re not saying, like, blah, but to acknowledge the fact that I’ve been divorced and that it was rough and that I didn’t want it. And like, you know, you’ll hear me say those things, and I think part of, you know, as we talk about how to prove you’re a real person, ’cause we kinda have to prove we’re a real person now ’cause everybody thinks we’re not.
I think that’s one way. And Becky, I’m gonna ask you, like, let’s kinda ping-pong back and forth, what are some other ways? You’ve already mentioned, you know, being more present on Instagram ’cause it’s showing the daily, the minutely things, right? It’s not just a three steps or five steps. So we have the Instagram. One of the things I will stand by is, is giving people a peek into the imperfection, the struggles, the failures. For me, as a [00:13:00] Christian, I’ll say it in that way, I think that humility aspect of I’m on the road with you, I’m on the journey with you, has been real important for me.
So sharing some struggles. What else stands out to you? Even, like, techniques and ’cause I have something going through my head that my website person, expert just told me to watch now. And so it could be practical, could be personal. What else do you think helps prove it?
Becky: A couple things go through my mind, you know, when you were talking about sharing the struggle. I think, so I just started on Instagram a post every week, sharing actual pictures from my journal, and I think it’s important that it’s a real picture of my actual journal, that my messy stick figures, my not very nice handwriting, all of that stuff, I think that matters. And also, that is a way that I give people glimpses into my struggles, but I’m not sharing the depth of my processing there. I’m not sharing the gushing and all of that. So I think that’s way that I’ve kind of hinted at, I’m going through something, and this is how I’m actually seeking God in the thing that I’m going through, without sharing all the details.
Laurie: [00:14:00] Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: On my website posts, this has actually been for over a year now at least, I take all of my own pictures. I went through a season of using stock photos because it was easier and faster, and now it’s just important to me to share myself, my own Bible, my own journal, things like that all the, the, website articles. So those are the two things that came to mind.
Laurie: Yeah, and that’s a separate, whole separate thing is not using stock photos anymore. For a while, stock photos did very well, and, currently, less perfect photos, even if it’s not even completely, like in focus. Like really, like when you’re out and about, you know, just the imperfect photos show us as real people.
The other thing I was gonna add is the whole person, I think is, is part of it, is letting them have peeks into, like let’s say you are a home baker, or let’s say you are teaching people how to do great with SEO, giving peeks into your life. Did you just get a cow? You know, do you have a [00:15:00] pet? You know, on the side, do you do art? You know, do you volunteer at a certain pl- you know, certain type of place? Like, I think that whole person, understanding that you’re not just this compartment, I think is also one of the keys. Anything else you can think of?
Becky: Yeah, and I think that at least the regular sharing on Instagram for me on stories is kind of choosing which parts can I allow people to be in my in crowd about. So we call our new house.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: We just learned, moved to, we call it the Up Yonder house, and I’ve started sharing that. And so it’s like my community, we’re the only people who knows what that means.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I like that. They’re in the in crowd.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: There’s certain lingo that’s just ours.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I really like things like that.
Laurie: It’s like community language or like the language of a certain culture, because I have some of that in Small Church Ministry. I talk about Jesus frosting. I think that’s probably gonna catch on all over the world at some point, but for now it’s mine. You know what I mean? And so the people in my community know exactly what I mean by Jesus frosting.
So I [00:16:00] think that’s another great thing, to coin the phrases that you use, that you like, and, and make them part of your community. The tip I was gonna mention that my SEO, team member shared with me, she said, “We need to start making some changes to our blog post because we have really done well on Three Ways, Five Tips,” all sorts of things in Small Church Ministry ’cause it’s such a niche field. And, she said with the AI world and what’s happening with Google searches, she’s really saying you need a personal drop at the beginning of every one. Like, you need to say, you know, “This church in, you know, in Washington,” or, “Yesterday when I was…” Like, to have more, to make sure the people… Like, just the mention of that is helpful so you’re not just the expert giving five tips or five ways.
Whether you are, you know, in the art field and talking about picking a perfect color palette, to add a personal piece at the beginning of why this is popping up for you or what you did in your own living room or, you know, or bathroom, you know? So [00:17:00] some of those details also are super helpful on the practical side if you have a website. And I think, Becky, you proved it last, in the last episode about your email sequence, right? It’s not just websites. It’s that, yeah. What else were you gonna say?
Becky: And well, and I was just gonna add to that, I really love what you’re saying about this. And for you all listening, I hope that when we’re saying these things, I hope you’re not creating a mental, like, list of pressure. “Oh my gosh, now I have to do this.” Now I have to take my own pictures.”
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: “Now I have to show up.” I hope you’re not doing that. What I hope you feel is relief. Of, I can allow that part of myself. I can allow my mistakes. I can allow my typo.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: I can allow the fuzzy picture. Like, that’s what I hope you’re taking away from this.
Laurie: Yeah
Becky: Because what I hope you’re hearing is, permission to be human and not to be a content machine, but to be you.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: As a human with your unique flaws and your unique strengths and your unique experiences, and allow all of that to be cohesive, and I’m gonna go back to my [00:18:00] word aligned, aligned with your whole self.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: That sounded so cheesy as I said it, but I mean it.
Laurie: No, I love it. And I also think that edge of growth, the fact that we’re changing and growing all the time as human people, our businesses should be too, what people see of us. Like, if it’s too starchy the same, the way it’s always been, we’re not being fully who we are. Because we have changed and grown. All of us have. You know, we get beat up by the world, we get uplifted by different friends, we get, you know. I mean, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. We can still be professional and strategic and be human.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: It’s an interesting concept, right? That we have to prove ourselves to be human.
Becky: It is. And you know, something that we talked about before pressing record on this episode was just some of the beauty of social media is that [00:19:00] it’s, or, stories at least, is that it’s current.
Laurie: Yes. Mm-hmm.
Becky: Stories or things that are happening right now, as I go through my day today, and it reflects who I am in this moment. And in the last episode, we were talking about how even when I wrote my welcome series, it hasn’t even been that long, maybe a year or so that that welcome series had been up, but I felt like I had outgrown it. And it’s important to, even with yourself, not even including AI, but it does include AI, it’s important to stay current in what you’re sharing with your people, even though we talk about, which is, an interesting balance with things like batching and working ahead and staying current with your audience as well.
Laurie: Yeah, yeah. You know, the landscape is just changing. There’s so much change in our world. Like, if you look back to when our grandparents or great-grandparents would say, “Oh, when I was a kid…” Well, now it’s, like, super speed, and it’s only accelerating the amount of change. And I think we can go into a fear mode or a rejection mode.
I’m not gonna do that. I’m not gonna use that. I’m not gonna lean into that. I’m not… I’m gonna pretend this isn’t happening around [00:20:00] me, right? Or we can look at the opportunity and go, “Okay, God, like, where are you in the middle of this?”
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Laurie: “How do I respond?” Not, “How do I react?” Not how this is gonna, you know, wreck whatever I’ve done. Like, we can be growing in the middle of it.
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Laurie: Like, Jesus didn’t come into a perfect culture.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: I mean, like, He didn’t. Like, people think, “Oh, way back in Jesus’ day,” and they’re like, “He was just wa-” You guys, there was so much abuse back then. And, and I mean, just of anyone who was marginalized and anyone who had challenges.
I mean, there was so much abuse and so much hierarchy and so much… And He didn’t in the middle of it shut down and say, “Ugh, the world is so bad.” He became an influence where He was, and let’s look at how He did it. Highly relational.
Becky: Highly.
Laurie: Highly about connection.
Becky: Yeah. Yeah.
Laurie: Yes, He taught. Yes, He had [00:21:00] content. But I’m gonna tell you what made the difference and what drew people to Him was the relational connection.
Becky: Hmm. It’s so true.
Laurie: Such a good thought.
Becky: So true. Yep. Yep.
Laurie: Hmm. So proving ourselves to be human in an AI world, Becky. Do you wanna wrap us up?
Becky: I, yeah, I kinda wanna end with the question to all of you listening is, so what makes you human? What draws people to you? What connects you to other people? I talk to people about food all the time. I have a hobby Instagram account, and it only talks about local food places. We’ve mentioned it a couple times on the podcast. I can talk about food all day long, and it connects me to people. I can talk to the people the Philippines about food, and I learn more about their culture and what they like and what they don’t like.
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: And so just, I just want to challenge you to think about what makes you you, what makes you quirky and fun and unique. Are you warm? Are you intellectual? Are you super smart and you could just, like, rock trivia at any time, anywhere? What makes you you? [00:22:00] And lean into those things. I guess that’s what my encouragement to be.
Laurie: I wanna share just because you’re making me think of a meeting I had, I think it was just yesterday with a couple people at Group Publishing, David C. Cook. And we were on a Zoom call, and one of the women I’ve known for a while, and the other one was brand new. But we were talking about this event coming up, and one of the women was like, “I’m so glad you guys wanna do that. I so don’t wanna do that. That is not me.” And she said, “Yeah, I think I’ve just…” And, and, and somebody said, “Well, yeah, we change so much.” She said, “No, I don’t think I changed. I think as I got older, I realized who I was, ’cause I used to do those things and it was so hard.” And she said, “I think as I got older, I realized who I was.”
Becky: I love that.
Laurie: And I know, it was so beautiful. And I think, Becky, as you were talking about, like what makes you, you, like let’s give ourselves permission not to fit the mold, right? Not to fit who we think we should be or who, who is successful. And really, like, you know, what does light us [00:23:00] up, right?
Becky: I think the people who have stood out to me most recently have a little bit of sass against labels that they’ve gotten. So I follow this new lady, I haven’t even mentioned her to you yet. She’s all about theology and sourdough, and she puts on the brakes. Like, she’s pushing hard against the trad wife movement of,
Laurie: Oh.
Becky: All the sourdough. She’s like, “Everybody thinks ’cause I have sourdough all these things are true about me, and let me tell you what’s not.” And I love that.
Laurie: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, and she’s showing herself to be a real person because nobody fits a mold. I mean, this is the reality is nobody fits a mold. You know, in my field, we did, conferences for a while for pastors’ wives, and one of the biggest phrases that people hopped on was, “I am not the typical pastor’s wife.” Because no matter how many pastors’ wives I talked to, there was not one that fit the typical mold that we all had in our head.
Becky: Hmm.
Laurie: Nobody fits a mold. Like, nobody does. And [00:24:00] so I think when you’re talking about quirky and weird and differences and all of that, that really is what proves that we’re not a real pers- that we are a real person, right? Is because nobody fits the mold, so how, how do you not fit the mold that you think you’re in, right?
Becky: Yes. Yes. I kinda love that. I kinda love that. That’s a good encouragement.
Laurie: I do too. Oh.
Becky: That’s a good clarifier for,
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: People listening out there.
Laurie: There you go. Well, we’re gonna wrap up this fun little episode. I’m kinda liking our summer episodes, Becky. Like, yeah. So if you’re listening and you do have a topic you want us to, talk about or a question you would like us to address, where can they shoot us an email, Becky, or is it better on social?
Becky: Hello@smartsoulfulbusiness.com
Laurie: Yeah. Give us your questions. We’re happy to riff off in a whole different, in a whole different direction, if there’s something on your heart and mind right now as you are building something, your life, your business, exploring the smart, soulful way of being, in the [00:25:00] worlds that we live in.
And I will just… I wanna close with just saying, you know, we have more in common than we do apart, all of us.
Becky: That’s good.
Laurie: Like, that’s part of this way that God’s created us to be relational. Like, we have so much more in common than we do apart. No matter where you’re living, no matter where you’re listening from, no matter your life situation, no matter your, stage you are in business.
Like, no matter what, we have so much more in common than we do, differences. So yeah. So wherever you’re listening from, have an incredible day. Go be a light. We’re on your team. We are with you. Leave us a review on the podcast. It helps more people find us. And until next week, Becky?
Becky: Go team!
[00:00:00]
Laurie: Hey, hey, welcome back to episode 42 of Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie. We are just two normal women who have stumbled upon businesses in different ways, and we have figured out how to make our businesses fit our lives instead of the other way around, through the ups and downs. And I think when we first started this, Becky and I have been friends for a few years now, kind of put together a collective resume.
We’re like, we’ve just, like between the two of us, we’ve done, done almost all of it, like conferences and, you know, viral blogs on recipes and [00:01:00] memberships. And so it’s really fun to be able to come on and, and talk, you know, and save, save you mistakes and time. We share our good stuff. We share our hard stuff. We share terrible mistakes, wastes of money.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: And, I don’t know, I think we’re pretty darn authentic and honest and real, which brings us to our topic of today. We are talking about how to be a real person in an AI world and the struggles that we have. Last week, on the episode, we started talking about Becky’s welcome series, in which she got some surprising responses from real people.
And, and so we went into this truth that businesses today that are growing, that are gonna be around for a while, it’s not about more content, it’s about more connection. Then we start talking about the difficulties with connecting in this AI world. So Becky, where do you wanna start with all that today?
Becky: Yeah. Well, l kind of where we left off is that, you know, one of the things I mentioned on the last episode was when I sat down to [00:02:00] write the new welcome sequence emails. I almost set out to, to think how, how can I prove myself that I’m a real person? How can I prove that I’m not just a computer? And, it’s a struggle. So you said, you had mentioned in the last episode too that you have written, personally you, human Laurie, has written posts that people point their fingers at and say, “That was AI, and I’m unfollowing.”
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: When like, “But it was really me.”
Laurie: Yeah, I know. If you’re too good, you get called out for being AI, and if you’re not, there’s a phrase or a word or a way that you used a dash or something and then people like it. It’s like all ends of it, and I think really what’s happening these days is we are all suspicious and skeptical any time, we hear or see anything.
You know, on Instagram, I just remember I was showing my kids some fun pictures of things, and I’m like, “Look how cool this is. Look how cool this is,” and there was a table like… This, you’re gonna laugh at this ’cause you’re gonna be like, “Really, Laurie?” There was a [00:03:00] table that had an, an aquarium inside it, and they’re like, “Mom, that’s AI.”
And I’m like, “What?” They’re like, “Mom, that’s AI. That’s not real.” I’m like, oh my gosh, like I wanted to figure out how to buy this, you know, cute coffee table with fish swimming in it. And they’re like… And I’m like, “How can you tell?” And they’re like, “Mom, really?” And, and since then, and that was maybe a year ago or something, I’m a late adopter of everything, so it takes me a while.
But like, it’s almost like everything we see and hear, the reels with the pet adoptions, the, you know, the, the voices we hear, customer service, you know, on anything we reach out to, either on a phone or, you know, online, the chat boxes, all this. It’s almost like we’re assuming we’re not talking to a real person unless somebody proves it. Like, prove it. Prove it.
Becky: Yes, it is absolutely the opposite of what it used to be when I entered the online space. When I entered the online space, I started a blog when it was called a blog, not a website. I was [00:04:00] writing blog posts, not articles. I was sharing personal stories on the Internet of what I did that weekend, and that was how people used blogs back then. It was fully, wholly personal, and man, have the times changed.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah. So how do we prove we’re real people these days? And well, first off, does it matter? If you’re wondering if it matters, listen to last week’s episode because it does matter. So, it does matter. So how do we do it? How do we do it well? Where are you gravitating now in your business, Becky?
Becky: Yeah, so this definitely isn’t a, a general how-to for everybody, but for me personally, it’s been a really interesting journey now because I have bucked pretty hard against social media for a while now. I have wanted my business to stay present enough on social media, but I did not want to live on social media. I saw so many people posting so many times a day, especially when Stories became a thing. It was one thing when Instagram, to being successful on Instagram was posting one picture from [00:05:00] your day one time. There were no carousels with twenty pictures in a row. It was one picture once a day, and that’s how you stayed connected with people.
And then when Stories became a thing, I actually have to admit, I love Stories. That’s my go-to when I wanna disconnect and kinda just doom scroll, I am on Instagram Stories. So I love them, I love them, and, as a content creator, as an online business, I felt like that is going to suck every bit of my time and my life and my attention and my focus, and I’m unwilling to do that. So I had really dug my heels in hard on social media for quite a while now, and I wanted to kind of hide in a cave.
Laurie: So just for context, you were heavy on Instagram for how many years, and then you took how many years or months off? Like you said, “I kinda dug in, I kinda backed off.”
Becky: Yeah, I don’t know that I was ever super heavy or consistent on Instagram long term. I would have spurts.
Laurie: Okay.
Becky: Where I’d be like, “Oh, this is fun,” and I would post and post and post, and then I would pull away. And so.
Laurie: Okay.
Becky: My [00:06:00] success is not proven with Instagram ’cause I’ve never been consistent with it, cause I change my mind on social media all the time.
Laurie: Okay. Okay, cool
Becky: So that’s how it’s gone. I can’t even remember a timeline. At least a year that, at least a year, probably more like two or three, that I have really tried to pull back, and I’ve posted like graphics of, with Blessings on Instagram, but not me on Instagram.
Laurie: Yeah, I remember the discussions about that with you and your kids, and like how much do you wanna be on, and how much do you wanna open yourself up to criticism and stuff. So I was gonna say about a year or two ago, I noticed a difference with your vulnerability or openness or frequency on social media.
Becky: And I would say all of that is combined. So part of it was practical. I didn’t feel like I had the bandwidth to live online. And be available to everybody all the time and respond to text messages or DMs all the time, and part of it is a privacy struggle of my life is intertwined with a lot of other people’s lives, my kids’ lives, my family, and church friends, and that’s a hard boundary to respect as well. So there’s lots of different things.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: But the reason [00:07:00] that I right now, maybe I’ll change my mind next week, but right now I am kind of going I’m becoming more visible on Instagram Stories again is because I want my audience to know that I’m real. I want them to see that this is my dog Biscuit at my feet. Do you see his tongue hanging out of his mouth? How cute.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: I want them to see, I don’t show my kids’ faces right now, but I want them to see my kids’ toes, that we just swam in the swimming pool over there.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: My Bible open in the morning doing my morning quiet time. I want them to see real glimpses from a real human because I want them to know that I’m a real human.
Laurie: Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: It’s kind of like proving that I’m real in an AI world. As much as I can.
Laurie: Yeah. It, you know, and if it is true that the future of business is not gonna be about more content, it’s gonna be about connection, which we totally believe it is. We’re seeing our audiences respond to it. It’s, you know, if it’s about content, we may as well just all hang it up, right? But that [00:08:00] connection, that relational piece, that, that guidance, that you’re not alone, that, you know, that we see you, you know, AI can’t.
It can counterfeit it, but it cannot provide real connection. And again, if you listened to last week’s episode, totally believe that connection is very spiritual. I believe this is a God-given thing, and if we’re gonna do smart, soulful business, we’ve gotta listen to it. Like, we’ve gotta listen to this, this draw for relationships and connection, you know?
When, before we started doing this episode, I looked up a Pinocchio quote because when, when we were talking about we’re gonna, we need to prove that we’re a real person, I thought about Pinocchio, you know, saying, “I’m real, I’m real. I’m a real boy,” you know? And here was this wooden, you know, marionette-type puppet thing, right, that had to be moved and didn’t really have, you know, the insides, right, of a person becoming a real, a real boy.
And there was a quote, in the, you know, 1940 Disney film, where the fairy that was talking to him [00:09:00] said, “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you’ll be a real boy.” And I’m like, okay, I don’t remember this quote at all, right?
Becky: Me either.
Laurie: But where did these words come from? “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you’ll be a real boy.” And the reality is, AI doesn’t have to be brave. AI’s not a person. There’s no fear. There’s no vulnerability. AI does not have to be truthful. If any of you have experienced much with AI, it oftentimes is not. And AI does not have to be unselfish. You know, these traits, being brave, being truthful, being unselfish, like, how does that hit you, Becky, in light of what we’re talking about?
Becky: Well, when you read me that quote, I mean, my jaw dropped to the floor ’cause I’m like, well, if that isn’t applicable. Like, yeah, that is what I’m seeking to do by showing up on social media. I am seeking to show them you know, with social media, for me, [00:10:00] I would say the bravery comes into play because of what you mentioned earlier with the vulnerability. It is scary to show up online to of criticism. But also, even if you’re not talking to critics, it’s a tough thing to draw the line on what is appropriate to share and when it’s appropriate to share it. You and I have talked about do we share the struggle in hindsight? Is it smarter to wait?
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: And I think most of the time that answer is yes. But there are people that I follow that when they invite me into the struggle, number one, boy, does it deepen my personal connection with them, even though I don’t know them personally at all, and I really appreciate it. I usually relate to the struggle, and I’m usually feeling pretty seen in what they’re going through and how they’re processing it. And so it’s a struggle. But that bravery, that brave word.
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: That’s important, showing up online.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And yeah, selfless, and what’s the third one? Brave, selfless, and?
Laurie: It was… Sorry, I have to look it up again. [00:11:00] Brave, truthful, and unselfish.
Becky: Truthful. Yeah.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I think, I.
Laurie: Ooh, and that’s a tough one, isn’t it? Right? You know, I had somebody mention to me that they say I look so happy, “You look so happy on social media.” But I know social media can just tell one side of whatever, you know? And I thought, “And that’s the truth of it,” is that, you know, what is the whole truth?
How much do we reveal? What proves us to be a real person? Now, neither Becky or I are gonna tell you to let it all hang out in the raw, bleeding moments, right? Like, it’s not wise. It’s also honestly not mature. Like, it’s not mature. We end up regretting things we say. But, but the little peeks into things, I think the acknowledgement that there’s a struggle.
You know, I think about my divorce. I got divorced two years ago. You’ve probably heard me mention it if you’re a regular listener to the podcast, and you probably have a lot of questions because I haven’t shared a lot about it. You know, and I’ve been invited to be on a podcast talking about my divorce ’cause I divorced a pastor, and this was a kind of a podcast that deals with faith issues and, you know, how the church has dealt with things, [00:12:00] and I’m not ready.
And the reason I’m not ready isn’t because I’m not being truthful, but the perspective is still shaping. You know, like, you don’t have perspective to go far enough away, and how I would’ve explained it or processed it six months ago, I would talk about it differently today. And I know it would’ve been very different a year beyond that.
And so we’re not saying, like, blah, but to acknowledge the fact that I’ve been divorced and that it was rough and that I didn’t want it. And like, you know, you’ll hear me say those things, and I think part of, you know, as we talk about how to prove you’re a real person, ’cause we kinda have to prove we’re a real person now ’cause everybody thinks we’re not.
I think that’s one way. And Becky, I’m gonna ask you, like, let’s kinda ping-pong back and forth, what are some other ways? You’ve already mentioned, you know, being more present on Instagram ’cause it’s showing the daily, the minutely things, right? It’s not just a three steps or five steps. So we have the Instagram. One of the things I will stand by is, is giving people a peek into the imperfection, the struggles, the failures. For me, as a [00:13:00] Christian, I’ll say it in that way, I think that humility aspect of I’m on the road with you, I’m on the journey with you, has been real important for me.
So sharing some struggles. What else stands out to you? Even, like, techniques and ’cause I have something going through my head that my website person, expert just told me to watch now. And so it could be practical, could be personal. What else do you think helps prove it?
Becky: A couple things go through my mind, you know, when you were talking about sharing the struggle. I think, so I just started on Instagram a post every week, sharing actual pictures from my journal, and I think it’s important that it’s a real picture of my actual journal, that my messy stick figures, my not very nice handwriting, all of that stuff, I think that matters. And also, that is a way that I give people glimpses into my struggles, but I’m not sharing the depth of my processing there. I’m not sharing the gushing and all of that. So I think that’s way that I’ve kind of hinted at, I’m going through something, and this is how I’m actually seeking God in the thing that I’m going through, without sharing all the details.
Laurie: [00:14:00] Yeah. Yeah.
Becky: On my website posts, this has actually been for over a year now at least, I take all of my own pictures. I went through a season of using stock photos because it was easier and faster, and now it’s just important to me to share myself, my own Bible, my own journal, things like that all the, the, website articles. So those are the two things that came to mind.
Laurie: Yeah, and that’s a separate, whole separate thing is not using stock photos anymore. For a while, stock photos did very well, and, currently, less perfect photos, even if it’s not even completely, like in focus. Like really, like when you’re out and about, you know, just the imperfect photos show us as real people.
The other thing I was gonna add is the whole person, I think is, is part of it, is letting them have peeks into, like let’s say you are a home baker, or let’s say you are teaching people how to do great with SEO, giving peeks into your life. Did you just get a cow? You know, do you have a [00:15:00] pet? You know, on the side, do you do art? You know, do you volunteer at a certain pl- you know, certain type of place? Like, I think that whole person, understanding that you’re not just this compartment, I think is also one of the keys. Anything else you can think of?
Becky: Yeah, and I think that at least the regular sharing on Instagram for me on stories is kind of choosing which parts can I allow people to be in my in crowd about. So we call our new house.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: We just learned, moved to, we call it the Up Yonder house, and I’ve started sharing that. And so it’s like my community, we’re the only people who knows what that means.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I like that. They’re in the in crowd.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: There’s certain lingo that’s just ours.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: And I really like things like that.
Laurie: It’s like community language or like the language of a certain culture, because I have some of that in Small Church Ministry. I talk about Jesus frosting. I think that’s probably gonna catch on all over the world at some point, but for now it’s mine. You know what I mean? And so the people in my community know exactly what I mean by Jesus frosting.
So I [00:16:00] think that’s another great thing, to coin the phrases that you use, that you like, and, and make them part of your community. The tip I was gonna mention that my SEO, team member shared with me, she said, “We need to start making some changes to our blog post because we have really done well on Three Ways, Five Tips,” all sorts of things in Small Church Ministry ’cause it’s such a niche field. And, she said with the AI world and what’s happening with Google searches, she’s really saying you need a personal drop at the beginning of every one. Like, you need to say, you know, “This church in, you know, in Washington,” or, “Yesterday when I was…” Like, to have more, to make sure the people… Like, just the mention of that is helpful so you’re not just the expert giving five tips or five ways.
Whether you are, you know, in the art field and talking about picking a perfect color palette, to add a personal piece at the beginning of why this is popping up for you or what you did in your own living room or, you know, or bathroom, you know? So [00:17:00] some of those details also are super helpful on the practical side if you have a website. And I think, Becky, you proved it last, in the last episode about your email sequence, right? It’s not just websites. It’s that, yeah. What else were you gonna say?
Becky: And well, and I was just gonna add to that, I really love what you’re saying about this. And for you all listening, I hope that when we’re saying these things, I hope you’re not creating a mental, like, list of pressure. “Oh my gosh, now I have to do this.” Now I have to take my own pictures.”
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: “Now I have to show up.” I hope you’re not doing that. What I hope you feel is relief. Of, I can allow that part of myself. I can allow my mistakes. I can allow my typo.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: I can allow the fuzzy picture. Like, that’s what I hope you’re taking away from this.
Laurie: Yeah
Becky: Because what I hope you’re hearing is, permission to be human and not to be a content machine, but to be you.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: As a human with your unique flaws and your unique strengths and your unique experiences, and allow all of that to be cohesive, and I’m gonna go back to my [00:18:00] word aligned, aligned with your whole self.
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: That sounded so cheesy as I said it, but I mean it.
Laurie: No, I love it. And I also think that edge of growth, the fact that we’re changing and growing all the time as human people, our businesses should be too, what people see of us. Like, if it’s too starchy the same, the way it’s always been, we’re not being fully who we are. Because we have changed and grown. All of us have. You know, we get beat up by the world, we get uplifted by different friends, we get, you know. I mean, the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. We can still be professional and strategic and be human.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: It’s an interesting concept, right? That we have to prove ourselves to be human.
Becky: It is. And you know, something that we talked about before pressing record on this episode was just some of the beauty of social media is that [00:19:00] it’s, or, stories at least, is that it’s current.
Laurie: Yes. Mm-hmm.
Becky: Stories or things that are happening right now, as I go through my day today, and it reflects who I am in this moment. And in the last episode, we were talking about how even when I wrote my welcome series, it hasn’t even been that long, maybe a year or so that that welcome series had been up, but I felt like I had outgrown it. And it’s important to, even with yourself, not even including AI, but it does include AI, it’s important to stay current in what you’re sharing with your people, even though we talk about, which is, an interesting balance with things like batching and working ahead and staying current with your audience as well.
Laurie: Yeah, yeah. You know, the landscape is just changing. There’s so much change in our world. Like, if you look back to when our grandparents or great-grandparents would say, “Oh, when I was a kid…” Well, now it’s, like, super speed, and it’s only accelerating the amount of change. And I think we can go into a fear mode or a rejection mode.
I’m not gonna do that. I’m not gonna use that. I’m not gonna lean into that. I’m not… I’m gonna pretend this isn’t happening around [00:20:00] me, right? Or we can look at the opportunity and go, “Okay, God, like, where are you in the middle of this?”
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Laurie: “How do I respond?” Not, “How do I react?” Not how this is gonna, you know, wreck whatever I’ve done. Like, we can be growing in the middle of it.
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Laurie: Like, Jesus didn’t come into a perfect culture.
Becky: Yeah.
Laurie: I mean, like, He didn’t. Like, people think, “Oh, way back in Jesus’ day,” and they’re like, “He was just wa-” You guys, there was so much abuse back then. And, and I mean, just of anyone who was marginalized and anyone who had challenges.
I mean, there was so much abuse and so much hierarchy and so much… And He didn’t in the middle of it shut down and say, “Ugh, the world is so bad.” He became an influence where He was, and let’s look at how He did it. Highly relational.
Becky: Highly.
Laurie: Highly about connection.
Becky: Yeah. Yeah.
Laurie: Yes, He taught. Yes, He had [00:21:00] content. But I’m gonna tell you what made the difference and what drew people to Him was the relational connection.
Becky: Hmm. It’s so true.
Laurie: Such a good thought.
Becky: So true. Yep. Yep.
Laurie: Hmm. So proving ourselves to be human in an AI world, Becky. Do you wanna wrap us up?
Becky: I, yeah, I kinda wanna end with the question to all of you listening is, so what makes you human? What draws people to you? What connects you to other people? I talk to people about food all the time. I have a hobby Instagram account, and it only talks about local food places. We’ve mentioned it a couple times on the podcast. I can talk about food all day long, and it connects me to people. I can talk to the people the Philippines about food, and I learn more about their culture and what they like and what they don’t like.
Laurie: Mm-hmm.
Becky: And so just, I just want to challenge you to think about what makes you you, what makes you quirky and fun and unique. Are you warm? Are you intellectual? Are you super smart and you could just, like, rock trivia at any time, anywhere? What makes you you? [00:22:00] And lean into those things. I guess that’s what my encouragement to be.
Laurie: I wanna share just because you’re making me think of a meeting I had, I think it was just yesterday with a couple people at Group Publishing, David C. Cook. And we were on a Zoom call, and one of the women I’ve known for a while, and the other one was brand new. But we were talking about this event coming up, and one of the women was like, “I’m so glad you guys wanna do that. I so don’t wanna do that. That is not me.” And she said, “Yeah, I think I’ve just…” And, and, and somebody said, “Well, yeah, we change so much.” She said, “No, I don’t think I changed. I think as I got older, I realized who I was, ’cause I used to do those things and it was so hard.” And she said, “I think as I got older, I realized who I was.”
Becky: I love that.
Laurie: And I know, it was so beautiful. And I think, Becky, as you were talking about, like what makes you, you, like let’s give ourselves permission not to fit the mold, right? Not to fit who we think we should be or who, who is successful. And really, like, you know, what does light us [00:23:00] up, right?
Becky: I think the people who have stood out to me most recently have a little bit of sass against labels that they’ve gotten. So I follow this new lady, I haven’t even mentioned her to you yet. She’s all about theology and sourdough, and she puts on the brakes. Like, she’s pushing hard against the trad wife movement of,
Laurie: Oh.
Becky: All the sourdough. She’s like, “Everybody thinks ’cause I have sourdough all these things are true about me, and let me tell you what’s not.” And I love that.
Laurie: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, and she’s showing herself to be a real person because nobody fits a mold. I mean, this is the reality is nobody fits a mold. You know, in my field, we did, conferences for a while for pastors’ wives, and one of the biggest phrases that people hopped on was, “I am not the typical pastor’s wife.” Because no matter how many pastors’ wives I talked to, there was not one that fit the typical mold that we all had in our head.
Becky: Hmm.
Laurie: Nobody fits a mold. Like, nobody does. And [00:24:00] so I think when you’re talking about quirky and weird and differences and all of that, that really is what proves that we’re not a real pers- that we are a real person, right? Is because nobody fits the mold, so how, how do you not fit the mold that you think you’re in, right?
Becky: Yes. Yes. I kinda love that. I kinda love that. That’s a good encouragement.
Laurie: I do too. Oh.
Becky: That’s a good clarifier for,
Laurie: Yeah.
Becky: People listening out there.
Laurie: There you go. Well, we’re gonna wrap up this fun little episode. I’m kinda liking our summer episodes, Becky. Like, yeah. So if you’re listening and you do have a topic you want us to, talk about or a question you would like us to address, where can they shoot us an email, Becky, or is it better on social?
Becky: Hello@smartsoulfulbusiness.com
Laurie: Yeah. Give us your questions. We’re happy to riff off in a whole different, in a whole different direction, if there’s something on your heart and mind right now as you are building something, your life, your business, exploring the smart, soulful way of being, in the [00:25:00] worlds that we live in.
And I will just… I wanna close with just saying, you know, we have more in common than we do apart, all of us.
Becky: That’s good.
Laurie: Like, that’s part of this way that God’s created us to be relational. Like, we have so much more in common than we do apart. No matter where you’re living, no matter where you’re listening from, no matter your life situation, no matter your, stage you are in business.
Like, no matter what, we have so much more in common than we do, differences. So yeah. So wherever you’re listening from, have an incredible day. Go be a light. We’re on your team. We are with you. Leave us a review on the podcast. It helps more people find us. And until next week, Becky?
Becky: Go team!
