Even in a noisy, content-heavy world, a book still carries weight. In this episode, we talk about how books function socially and professionally – and why writing one often changes how people listen to you, trust you, and engage with your ideas.
We reframe authority as trust, not platform size, and explore why a book can be a gift rather than a pitch. This episode helps us imagine life after the book, without adding pressure to get it perfect.
In this episode, we talk about:
- How books quietly build credibility and trust
- Why the words expert, authority, and influence don’t require a fancy title
- How a book gives your ideas a perfect place to live
- What changes after you write (and publish) your work
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- This Week’s Free Action Guide: The Quiet Authority Map
- The Smart Soulful Business Facebook Community
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🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Smart Soulful Business Podcast! See you next week!
LISTEN ON
023: Why A Book Changes How People See You (Even in a Crowded World)
Becky Brown 0:01
If you’re a Christian woman, building a business and want it to be purposeful and profitable, we’ve got you covered. I’m Becky.
Laurie Graham 0:08
And I’m Laurie. We have both built successful businesses that we love without losing our faith, humor or our sanity. This is Smart Soulful Business.
Becky Brown 0:17
Real conversations to help your business fit your life and not the other way around. Hey and welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie.
Laurie Graham 0:26
Hey, hey, welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie.
Becky Brown 0:31
We are here every week talking about how to build businesses that feel grounded, thoughtful and actually livable, not just louder, flashier and definitely not more exhausting.
Laurie Graham 0:43
And today we’re supposed to be wrapping up our four-part series. I just watched Becky’s eyes get wide there. What is Laurie about to say? We’re supposed to be wrapping up our four-part series, but I’m going to suggest a fifth, like sneak behind the curtain, but we’ll get to that later on, writing and publishing a book. If you have been listening along, this episode.
Today’s episode is meant to zoom out just a little bit. We’re not going to pile on more to-do’s or more pressure at all, because today we’re talking about a question that comes up a bit in today’s culture, why would we write a book anymore? Does writing a book even matter anymore? It feels like everybody already has a book, like everybody who has a name has a book. And by the end of the episode, we want you to feel steadier, and I guess, maybe even stronger, about what a book actually does, why it does matter today, why we literally are here, like on this campaign, to have everyone who’s listening write a book. And also we want you to feel more confident about the influence you already have.
So let’s just jump into this. Okay, so one of the first things that a lot of people will talk about when the idea of writing a book comes up in conversation even, is some version of it feels like there’s so many books out there. Everybody has a book in today’s day and age. We talked about this a couple episodes ago, how the publishing world has changed so much that you don’t have to be chosen anymore to write a book. The world is flooded with books, thanks to Amazon and other booksellers, online, digital versions so accessible, it feels like there are so many books out there. And on the surface, it kind of makes sense to question this, right to think, well, the marketplace is really crowded. There’s a lot of voices, there’s a lot of content, a lot of opinions, but even that sentence, and we’re going to talk about the crowded marketplace, but even that sentence, that conversation, that question, it’s not really always about the market. A lot of times, it’s a way that we have of softening our own insecurities or questions about if our voice matters, right? Like it’s not just it’s so crowded, you know, why would it matter? But does our voice matter?
So Becky for you, when it talks about our voices mattering. What do you think people are really wrestling with in this crowded market space and and where does comparison kind of sneak in with this?
Becky Brown 3:12
Yeah, well, I think it’s a couple of different fronts. I mean, I speak from the front line, because I’ve been wrestling with all of these things myself, but a couple of different fronts, like all of the internal insecurities. Of, yeah, why does my voice matter? What do I have to say that hasn’t already been said? Why would they listen to me? Anyways, I’m not the biggest and not the foremost expert. I’m not this, I’m not that. And we have a long list of insecurities that come at us, and we also have some realities in there. Of, okay, so like it is there, there are tons of books out there, that’s a real thing that we are allowed to acknowledge.
So what would, what would make me stand out? And there’s just, I guess, on that front, it’s more of like an expectation of, we’ve mentioned this on past podcasts, the expectation of, well, if I write this thing, it needs to be a New York Bestseller, right? New York Times Bestseller. And that is just not the goal here. So shifting expectations, I think, is important, but also acknowledging, naming, wrestling with the insecurities that creep in.
What questions are you actually wondering about because you know, would would your voice matter? I just want to reach out through the screen and grab your shoulders right now and say, Yes, Your voice matters. You have insights. You have a take on this that nobody else in the world has, whether it comes to blogging or podcasting or creating music or creating art, you were created with something unique to share with this world, and we need to hear it. So yes, your voice matters, that’s what I want to say.
Laurie Graham 4:47
Yeah, well, and I think this is why it really helps to talk about what books actually change, whether it’s in us or in other people, not in theory, but like in real life. As you were talking, I thought about my friend Amy, who wrote a 30-Day Devotional, because we encouraged her to do this, and it was about her struggle with infertility, and I have to be honest, like she had so much of her that went into this and so much clarity for herself as she wrote this.
But I’m going to tell you right now, if one person read it and was helped or encouraged by it, she’d be thrilled. You know, like, so I think it’s really important to talk about what books actually change, not just for us, but for other people. But I think one thing that I think is so good to talk about in our social media world with drop-in quotes and sharing and, you know, all this kind of stuff, where we’re boiling everything down to a sentence, which I could go into another direction on that. But what happens with books? Well, what? What would you say, Becky?
Becky Brown 5:53
Oh, I think it’s a completely different experience. Books are a completely different experience. A meme is like this tiny little glimpse. It’s almost like entertainment, like we scroll through things to be entertained, to maybe learn like a tiny tidbit, but a book slows us down in a really good way. It’s something tangible. It’s a different experience. It’s something they hold in our in their hands.
When someone chooses to read a book, they’re choosing to spend more time like, they’re not going to pick up a book and then drop it right away. It’s not a meme. It’s not a scroll-through reel. They are choosing to spend time with your ideas, with your voice, without the scrolling, without the multitasking, without an algorithm deciding what ad is going to be thrown at them next. That alone, it kind of changes your relationship with your reader, it’s a different experience for them. That’s so true.
So Laurie, why? Why? With that in mind now, why does a book still matter when you’re thinking about all these concepts that we’ve already shared to your friend, writing about her infertility and impacting those people, why does it matter to still put your ideas, your insights into a book, versus a reel versus a meme versus a quote?
Laurie Graham 7:08
You know, one thing I think about is that I truly believe it teaches all the time that God called us to learn and live in connection, in community. And I think a book goes past the idea and it goes into why we’re writing it. It goes into context. It’s more of a version of life, like we get to sit with a person more in a book. Does that make sense to then, like, when we just see a post like, and half the times when people share posts, I mean, it’s written by somebody that’s been handed down 16 times. And you’re like, how much does this person even think that? I think books that carry somebody’s name, I think there’s something more significant about that. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Becky Brown 7:53
Yeah, well, I mean, so what you’re talking about is relationship versus, like a walk by, right? So you walk by a stranger and you wave, and you see their face, and it’s quick, and you like, you might think their outfit’s really cool or something as you wave, but you’re you’re gone. It’s an instant interaction with a book. It’s like you’re sitting across from one another and like what I was just telling somebody yesterday, what I love most, the books I love most are like, series. I want to get to know the person. I want to get to know their writing style, I want to know, like, it gets comfortable, it gets familiar, it gets, it creates, like, a little safe place where you’re like, oh, I want to learn more of this from you. And I underline and I highlight and I star things and I share quotes with you that stuck out to me. And it’s, it’s more of a, it’s a deeper relationship than a drive by.
Laurie Graham 8:39
You know, when you talked about that, like, you know, just like bumping into somebody versus having even a conversation, went through my head. But I think writing the book on our side and on people that are looking at us who wrote a book, I think it shows priority. It shows care. It shows follow through, like, there’s something that makes that topic weightier, because somebody took the time and the effort to write a book and put it out there. It’s very quick to say, share. Oh, that’s a great quote. That’s a great thought. That’s a really great statement, and we just click Share. It’s something I think it signals a different amount of of care or priority when we take the time to write a book. And I also want to talk about trust, like, I think depth, when we’re showing that that time, that effort, or even, you know, a lot of our books will share pieces of us in different ways. Do you think that builds trust? Like we actually get to know something about a person, or there’s something more there?
Becky Brown 9:38
Yeah, absolutely. And I would say along those lines, I would say part of the trust building is because your audience often will feel more seen in book form. There is more of like, okay, I’m gonna go back to the book on infertility. I mean, when you’re reading that book, you’re struggling.
Laurie Graham 9:58
By the way, that’s by Amy Satterfield, since we’re talking about her book all over the place, I probably should let people know what it’s called. I’ll look up the title while you’re talking.
Becky Brown 10:07
So Amy Satterfield shared her deep, meaningful, hard experience so that like those people reading, they’re not going to feel as alone. They’re going to feel seen. They’re gonna trust her more, not in some sleazy, oh, I’m trying to see them so that I can sell them more. She’s sharing this because it’s purposeful and meaningful, and she doesn’t want them to feel as alone as probably she felt in those moments herself. And that builds trust, that depth builds trust, and that’s it’s important. So what did you find her book?
Laurie Graham 10:40
I did okay. Name drop. Title drop. I mean, if we’re using it as an example, we may, probably should let people know where to find it. It’s it’s on Amazon. It’s called experiencing God’s Faithfulness through Infertility. And it’s written by Amy Satterfield. I believe it’s a 30-Day Devotional, if I remember it, yeah, it’s a devotional book. Well done, Amy. There’s a shoutout for Amy. She doesn’t even know it’s coming.
So okay, let me get back to this episode. Where are we? Okay? So this talk about, like, visibility, yeah, even, like, we’re talking about Amy right now, like, we just like, like, and maybe we freaked her out because she didn’t know. We’re gonna mention, you know, whatever. But I think talking about, like, let’s match authority here, because visibility doesn’t mean authority, right? But for a lot of people putting a book out there, they think this means I’m, like, making myself an authority on this topic. And for a lot of people, that feels really, really uncomfortable, like I have a hard time, yeah, me too. I have a hard time even calling myself an authority. Like a lot of times I will actually say in online conferences, on my other podcast, I am just starting a conversation y’all, like, I don’t know everything like and I say that on purpose, because I don’t like thinking or, yeah, I mean, I don’t think I’m the smartest person in the room.
And so I think this is really good to unpack here, because when it feels uncomfortable to think about ourselves as an authority or an expert or writing a book, and that makes us that, right? It’s not because we don’t have any experience or insight, yeah, but we don’t want to sound like we think we’re all that like I just mentioned, like, I don’t want to be that person who acts like they’re the smartest person in the room. And, yeah, the risk, the thought of that keeps so many people from writing a book.
Becky Brown 12:41
Yeah.
Laurie Graham 12:44
It’s so sad to me that our fear of that keeps us from being the influence that I personally believe God has called us all to be. But Becky, can you talk about this? Because I know you’ve struggled with this as well, this thought of being seen as authority, and, you know, being awkward and I think I want to contrast that with the reality is, is writing a book helps somebody trust you more than creating separation?
Becky Brown 13:13
Yeah, so I want to say that humility. It’s not humble.
Laurie Graham 13:24
Okay, I just have to say I even like how you started that phrase. She’s like, Oh.
Becky Brown 13:29
Like, you can’t see me. I’m like, rubbing my head right now.
Laurie Graham 13:33
You look a little flushed. You’re turning red right now.
Becky Brown 13:37
Okay, it is not a lack of humility to share your insights. Yes, because I, like I did, I absolutely felt like, man, writing this down, it feels prideful. It feels like, oh, you should listen to me, just because blah, blah, blah, blah in that tone. Like, that’s what my voice, my inner voice, would tell me. So like, I’m the fancy person over here, and I’m like, calling myself an expert, when inside I’m like, Oh, who am I? Except I so okay, I have struggled with over six years of debilitating insomnia.
There are very few people who understand the depths of insomnia that I do and I am not saying that I have the answers and that I understand insomnia more than every doctor on the planet, and that like I am not saying that I am God in this subject at all, but I am saying that I know how how few people understand what I went through, and it is not I don’t want to be the utmost authority in the world. I’m not trying to assert my dominance by writing about this subject, but I am planning to write a devotional on my insomnia because I don’t want people out there to feel so alone. I want somebody to feel seen in their unique, hard struggle in this area. Nobody else is able to acknowledge in their real life, which so often happens so.
Laurie Graham 15:04
And who wants to be the authority in a particular area of suffering anyway? Like you think about so many posts will say, Yeah, I just joined a club I didn’t want to be part of, like the Widow Club or the Widowers Club. I just joined a club, you know, the death of a child. And I have several friends who have lost children to brain cancer, like, who wants to be part of that club? It’s not like we are choosing to be an authority, like, oh, I want to be an authority over even anything we can think about, even skill areas. But the reality is our life comes with experience not always chosen. and we do have important things to share because and because we were created to live in learning community and connection.
Becky Brown 15:50
And I mean, let’s bring faith back into the picture. Like, the reason that I am itching to write that devotional is not to talk about how hard I struggled. It’s because God gave me comfort in those times. God gave me hope in those deep, dark moments. And I so want to share that with other people in those deep, dark moments. I want to share glimpses of hope. I want to share the insights from the Lord. I want to share the Scriptures that hit me, and the concepts that hit me.
And so let’s go back to this topic of authority. It’s not about declaring yourself an expert. You’re not. Writing a book is not declaring yourself an expert. Writing a book is not a lack of humility or seeing yourself as you really are in this area, but it is you sharing, Hey, I went through this and this is what I learned, this is what I’ve seen. This is what felt important to me, and putting that into words so that somebody else can read it, because they need to hear that. They need to hear that.
Laurie Graham 16:48
Yeah, and before we make this all about suffering and how God’s moved into humility, like you might be an expert at something. Like, we’re not, we’re not downplaying that either. Like, I mean, I know a lot about working with volunteers and developing volunteers, and that is an area where I would say I have some expertise. Would I consider myself the smartest person in the room? No, maybe one of the smartest. Yeah, maybe, you know, I mean, like, I’ve just done that a lot, and it’s not even something that I feel like arrogant about, like, I just know that I’m good at it. It’s something I’ve experienced. It’s something I’ve experimented with. I do have a lot to say on that.
And so if your book idea isn’t all noble and humble, and like, you know, God did this in my suffering and pain, like, and I’m not making light of that either. Like, we’re just basically saying we all have things to share. We are all still on the learning process. Nobody’s arrived, and yet this is, this is how we do the human thing together, right? We’ve taken, the book is actually saying this, it’s not saying, I have all the answers. Writing a book is saying, here are some things I’ve taken some time to think through, and I was gonna say I’m willing to stand behind it, but I’m gonna actually say I’m willing to stand behind it for now. Yeah, because I’ve definitely taught things that I have learned new layers as I’ve gotten older. You know what I mean? Like, I’m willing to stand behind this for now, for my season from where I’m at. Here’s some things I’ve thought about, and I want to share them with you. That’s all a book is.
Becky Brown 18:24
Yeah, and it’s not proving yourself. You don’t have to spend an entire introduction or chapters like proving, oh, look, I’m worthy of talking about this like you can share like, this is just my experience. I always try to think about whenever I write blog posts or devotionals or whatever I’m writing, I always like to think about it like a coffee date. I am sitting eye to eye with somebody else. I’m not standing on stage talking at you. I am sitting eye to eye, talking with you. That’s how I always approach writing, and that’s helped me remember that there is still humility in this, that this isn’t a pride thing.
Laurie Graham 19:00
So that’s so good. I like that. Like that tons.
Becky Brown 19:04
Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So you don’t need to prove yourself. And this, it can feel calm. You can just write. You can just write, what, what you know, whether that’s quilting or knitting or cooking or, you know, like this area, like Laurie said, I wasn’t trying to box you in a suffering struggle box, but yeah, like, what, you know, people want to write about, people want to hear about it. And, yeah, they need you.
Laurie Graham 19:32
And that’s why we, I’m just gonna say we think everybody should write a book. I know that not everybody probably needs to or wants to write a book, but I kind of think everybody should, like, you know, as my kids were growing up, my experience growing up teenage and young adult, I really think every single person should work in a restaurant and should work Customer Service at the mall, like, should work retail and should work in a restaurant, because we learn so much about ourselves and other people. So, I mean, I say that to people all the time, everybody should work in a restaurant, everybody should work in a retail store. At some point in your life, because you will learn so much.
But I think it can be the same about books. And I think one thing about writing a book that works so well for all of us, is we are all already an influence. Like think sometimes people think, you know, I’m not really an influence. You are. You are to someone right now, every single one of us, we can walk into a grocery store and influence the people around us every single time. Picture the last time you walked into a grocery store, a retail store, a mall or a business, the person sitting in the chair, the person walking by, the person grabbing a cart, the person at the counter, they all influence us like God created us to be an influence, right? So through work or leadership or service or just our presence.
So like, let’s think about that we’re already an influence. Some of us carry quietly. Some of us carry it more out front, even if we’ve never thought of ourselves as an expert or having anything to share. And I think once we see our influence that way, like we’re already an influence, the question can shift a little bit.
Becky Brown 21:06
Yeah, no, I completely agree, and it does. And you know, we’re not talking about that influence making you a better person or a more worthy person, or your numbers on social media, or how many books you sell, whatever, but it does change the way that like it changes. It changes the relationship that you have with your people after they have read your book, or even know it’s there. It’s true.
Okay, you guys, my friend Katie, who is one of the most precious people on this planet, she often says things like, Oh, look, my friend, the author over here. And I just want to, like, crawl and disappear every time she says it, even though it’s true I wrote, I’ve written several books now, and I still want to just melt into my chair every time she says it, and she means it like that is a meaningful, such an impressive thing to her, you did this thing. You have this thing out there. It’s in people’s hands. It’s meaningful to people. Yeah. So how, yeah. What do you think? Have you noticed that change in how people, how your audience, sees you as well or relates to you?
Laurie Graham 22:19
Not as much for me, because I think you have been more public with your books. You know what I mean? I’m so busy with my business and my courses and my membership. You know what I mean, I haven’t talked a lot about my books, but I will just talk about, like, some things that that open up, like, after I’ve written a book. And I guess I should say and answer your question, not in my personal relationships, like when you were talking about Katie, yeah, but professionally, I think things are interesting. And what can open up after somebody writes a book, people understand what you’re about more, what you’ve been through more, they get some context.
If you have a book that you can share about your work, you don’t have to keep explaining everything from scratch. Like, I think that the branding part of like your brand authority, is that the phrase they use, brand authority, like, once you’ve written any book, even if nobody’s ever read it. You’re the brand authority now on quinoa bites, if you wrote a quinoa book recipe, right? Like, I mean, like, it’s kind of like, just having it out there can help the depth of how people know you, and even conversations go. And I know several people who’ve written books. I’m thinking of Janyne McConnaughey right now, who has written on brave and trauma in the pews and church, like church hurt and things like that. It’s opened up, like speaking opportunities and a lot of connections. And other people are studying this because she studied this, like opportunities feel more aligned like and, you know, I think you get to decide what the book does too, like we’re just talking about your first book, but.
Becky Brown 22:20
Yeah, well, and the first book is important to have a book out there, like we’ve talked about before, that clarity of, do I even like writing? Do I hate it? Am I ever going to write something else again? But so one of the things that they mention in online businesses is that you should have a presence everywhere. You don’t have to make everywhere your primary place that you show up all the time. That’s such a good point. Instagram account and a Pinterest account to meet your audience in the places they’re hanging out and find where they’re hanging out. Same is true with the book. Throw a book out there and see you’re gonna have people who will interact with your book, who will never see you on Instagram.
Laurie Graham 22:20
That’s so true. That’s so true. And you’ll have people on social media who never know you wrote a book at such. No, I love that so much. You know, don’t think of a book as like, a finish line, but it’s really fun to think about, like, what happens after you’ve written a book. You know, like, without putting a bunch of pressure on yourself, you’re not turning into a different person. But. It can change not only how people look at you or approach you, but again, I’ll go back to what I think is even more important, is it changes how we see ourselves. Like that has been the biggest shift for me. It, but it can help people see a clear way to kind of identify with you in a different way.
So. Okay, now here’s where we’re going to land this series. But if I can convince Becky to do it, we’re gonna pop on and do an impromptu behind this curtain. We’re gonna peel back the curtain and talk about our real experiences, of our personal books, and what success we’ve had, what we would do differently, the terrible mistakes, and I’m just embarrassed like I am like, I will share, I will share everything about mine, and I will see how much Becky shares about hers. But like, we have some really varied experiences, and we wanted to give you enough for you to go, go, go. Like, we don’t, Becky and I both don’t want to talk about our stuff so much, because we want this about you. But we have people who ask us, they’re like, tell us about this. Tell us about this. So we’re gonna do one little, are you? Are you game for that? Becky, can we do that?
Becky Brown 22:20
Absolutely, that’s just fun. I can’t wait to hear about your messy mistakes again. Oh my gosh, again.
Laurie Graham 22:20
There still exists out in cyberspace right now. I’m so embarrassed. But anyway, that’ll be next week. But let’s kind of kind of land this four-part series before we do the pull back the curtain. Books still matter. Books don’t matter because they make you famous, because usually they don’t. They don’t matter because they make you rich, because probably they won’t.
Laurie Graham 22:20
I think the deeper thing is they make us finishers. They make us true to our promises to ourselves, a person who did it, a person who believes their influence matters and books matter because of this and because of our call to be an influence, even if it’s quiet. It’s not about being an authority, it’s not about being the expert. It’s about being understandable and trustworthy and a good steward of the experiences God has given us to connect. To be who we are. Our voice already has influence. A book kind of gives it a place to live. Isn’t that sweet?
Laurie Graham 23:13
I like that. That’s a nice visual.
Laurie Graham 24:09
It kind of gives a place for to live. So this week’s free Action Guide along with this podcast. It’s just called the Book Clarity Map. It’s a pretty simple four quadrant thing, a simple reflection to help you see how a book naturally fits into your life, your work, your just sense of being, without turning it into this big, I don’t know, rebrand of your life or a big project, okay, so it’s just called the Book Clarity Map. You’ll find the link in the show notes. We give a free Action Guide with every podcast. If you are ready to write, though, please grab our How to Write Your First Book This Year Course. Becky and I are creating just a slew of courses, mini modules, action guides, take this podcast, put it on steroids.
If you like what we get for free, you will love what can you imagine what you get when you pay for something, right? So go grab this course, how to write your first book this year. It’s going to lead you through a bunch of steps to get this book out that are in many bites that make it possible and doable. Okay, and then next up, when you’re ready to publish, you can grab the course you wrote your book. Now let’s publish it, where we really dive deep into Amazon KDP, calmly, confidently and ready to go. The links to these courses are in the show notes. Thanks for spending time with us on Smart Soulful Business. If this series has helped you, helped you see books yourself or anything a little differently, share it with a friend who’s also building something meaningful. We can’t wait to talk to you next week. Your voice matters, your work matters. So go team.
Becky Brown 0:01
If you’re a Christian woman, building a business and want it to be purposeful and profitable, we’ve got you covered. I’m Becky.
Laurie Graham 0:08
And I’m Laurie. We have both built successful businesses that we love without losing our faith, humor or our sanity. This is Smart Soulful Business.
Becky Brown 0:17
Real conversations to help your business fit your life and not the other way around. Hey and welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie.
Laurie Graham 0:26
Hey, hey, welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie.
Becky Brown 0:31
We are here every week talking about how to build businesses that feel grounded, thoughtful and actually livable, not just louder, flashier and definitely not more exhausting.
Laurie Graham 0:43
And today we’re supposed to be wrapping up our four-part series. I just watched Becky’s eyes get wide there. What is Laurie about to say? We’re supposed to be wrapping up our four-part series, but I’m going to suggest a fifth, like sneak behind the curtain, but we’ll get to that later on, writing and publishing a book. If you have been listening along, this episode.
Today’s episode is meant to zoom out just a little bit. We’re not going to pile on more to-do’s or more pressure at all, because today we’re talking about a question that comes up a bit in today’s culture, why would we write a book anymore? Does writing a book even matter anymore? It feels like everybody already has a book, like everybody who has a name has a book. And by the end of the episode, we want you to feel steadier, and I guess, maybe even stronger, about what a book actually does, why it does matter today, why we literally are here, like on this campaign, to have everyone who’s listening write a book. And also we want you to feel more confident about the influence you already have.
So let’s just jump into this. Okay, so one of the first things that a lot of people will talk about when the idea of writing a book comes up in conversation even, is some version of it feels like there’s so many books out there. Everybody has a book in today’s day and age. We talked about this a couple episodes ago, how the publishing world has changed so much that you don’t have to be chosen anymore to write a book. The world is flooded with books, thanks to Amazon and other booksellers, online, digital versions so accessible, it feels like there are so many books out there. And on the surface, it kind of makes sense to question this, right to think, well, the marketplace is really crowded. There’s a lot of voices, there’s a lot of content, a lot of opinions, but even that sentence, and we’re going to talk about the crowded marketplace, but even that sentence, that conversation, that question, it’s not really always about the market. A lot of times, it’s a way that we have of softening our own insecurities or questions about if our voice matters, right? Like it’s not just it’s so crowded, you know, why would it matter? But does our voice matter?
So Becky for you, when it talks about our voices mattering. What do you think people are really wrestling with in this crowded market space and and where does comparison kind of sneak in with this?
Becky Brown 3:12
Yeah, well, I think it’s a couple of different fronts. I mean, I speak from the front line, because I’ve been wrestling with all of these things myself, but a couple of different fronts, like all of the internal insecurities. Of, yeah, why does my voice matter? What do I have to say that hasn’t already been said? Why would they listen to me? Anyways, I’m not the biggest and not the foremost expert. I’m not this, I’m not that. And we have a long list of insecurities that come at us, and we also have some realities in there. Of, okay, so like it is there, there are tons of books out there, that’s a real thing that we are allowed to acknowledge.
So what would, what would make me stand out? And there’s just, I guess, on that front, it’s more of like an expectation of, we’ve mentioned this on past podcasts, the expectation of, well, if I write this thing, it needs to be a New York Bestseller, right? New York Times Bestseller. And that is just not the goal here. So shifting expectations, I think, is important, but also acknowledging, naming, wrestling with the insecurities that creep in.
What questions are you actually wondering about because you know, would would your voice matter? I just want to reach out through the screen and grab your shoulders right now and say, Yes, Your voice matters. You have insights. You have a take on this that nobody else in the world has, whether it comes to blogging or podcasting or creating music or creating art, you were created with something unique to share with this world, and we need to hear it. So yes, your voice matters, that’s what I want to say.
Laurie Graham 4:47
Yeah, well, and I think this is why it really helps to talk about what books actually change, whether it’s in us or in other people, not in theory, but like in real life. As you were talking, I thought about my friend Amy, who wrote a 30-Day Devotional, because we encouraged her to do this, and it was about her struggle with infertility, and I have to be honest, like she had so much of her that went into this and so much clarity for herself as she wrote this.
But I’m going to tell you right now, if one person read it and was helped or encouraged by it, she’d be thrilled. You know, like, so I think it’s really important to talk about what books actually change, not just for us, but for other people. But I think one thing that I think is so good to talk about in our social media world with drop-in quotes and sharing and, you know, all this kind of stuff, where we’re boiling everything down to a sentence, which I could go into another direction on that. But what happens with books? Well, what? What would you say, Becky?
Becky Brown 5:53
Oh, I think it’s a completely different experience. Books are a completely different experience. A meme is like this tiny little glimpse. It’s almost like entertainment, like we scroll through things to be entertained, to maybe learn like a tiny tidbit, but a book slows us down in a really good way. It’s something tangible. It’s a different experience. It’s something they hold in our in their hands.
When someone chooses to read a book, they’re choosing to spend more time like, they’re not going to pick up a book and then drop it right away. It’s not a meme. It’s not a scroll-through reel. They are choosing to spend time with your ideas, with your voice, without the scrolling, without the multitasking, without an algorithm deciding what ad is going to be thrown at them next. That alone, it kind of changes your relationship with your reader, it’s a different experience for them. That’s so true.
So Laurie, why? Why? With that in mind now, why does a book still matter when you’re thinking about all these concepts that we’ve already shared to your friend, writing about her infertility and impacting those people, why does it matter to still put your ideas, your insights into a book, versus a reel versus a meme versus a quote?
Laurie Graham 7:08
You know, one thing I think about is that I truly believe it teaches all the time that God called us to learn and live in connection, in community. And I think a book goes past the idea and it goes into why we’re writing it. It goes into context. It’s more of a version of life, like we get to sit with a person more in a book. Does that make sense to then, like, when we just see a post like, and half the times when people share posts, I mean, it’s written by somebody that’s been handed down 16 times. And you’re like, how much does this person even think that? I think books that carry somebody’s name, I think there’s something more significant about that. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Becky Brown 7:53
Yeah, well, I mean, so what you’re talking about is relationship versus, like a walk by, right? So you walk by a stranger and you wave, and you see their face, and it’s quick, and you like, you might think their outfit’s really cool or something as you wave, but you’re you’re gone. It’s an instant interaction with a book. It’s like you’re sitting across from one another and like what I was just telling somebody yesterday, what I love most, the books I love most are like, series. I want to get to know the person. I want to get to know their writing style, I want to know, like, it gets comfortable, it gets familiar, it gets, it creates, like, a little safe place where you’re like, oh, I want to learn more of this from you. And I underline and I highlight and I star things and I share quotes with you that stuck out to me. And it’s, it’s more of a, it’s a deeper relationship than a drive by.
Laurie Graham 8:39
You know, when you talked about that, like, you know, just like bumping into somebody versus having even a conversation, went through my head. But I think writing the book on our side and on people that are looking at us who wrote a book, I think it shows priority. It shows care. It shows follow through, like, there’s something that makes that topic weightier, because somebody took the time and the effort to write a book and put it out there. It’s very quick to say, share. Oh, that’s a great quote. That’s a great thought. That’s a really great statement, and we just click Share. It’s something I think it signals a different amount of of care or priority when we take the time to write a book. And I also want to talk about trust, like, I think depth, when we’re showing that that time, that effort, or even, you know, a lot of our books will share pieces of us in different ways. Do you think that builds trust? Like we actually get to know something about a person, or there’s something more there?
Becky Brown 9:38
Yeah, absolutely. And I would say along those lines, I would say part of the trust building is because your audience often will feel more seen in book form. There is more of like, okay, I’m gonna go back to the book on infertility. I mean, when you’re reading that book, you’re struggling.
Laurie Graham 9:58
By the way, that’s by Amy Satterfield, since we’re talking about her book all over the place, I probably should let people know what it’s called. I’ll look up the title while you’re talking.
Becky Brown 10:07
So Amy Satterfield shared her deep, meaningful, hard experience so that like those people reading, they’re not going to feel as alone. They’re going to feel seen. They’re gonna trust her more, not in some sleazy, oh, I’m trying to see them so that I can sell them more. She’s sharing this because it’s purposeful and meaningful, and she doesn’t want them to feel as alone as probably she felt in those moments herself. And that builds trust, that depth builds trust, and that’s it’s important. So what did you find her book?
Laurie Graham 10:40
I did okay. Name drop. Title drop. I mean, if we’re using it as an example, we may, probably should let people know where to find it. It’s it’s on Amazon. It’s called experiencing God’s Faithfulness through Infertility. And it’s written by Amy Satterfield. I believe it’s a 30-Day Devotional, if I remember it, yeah, it’s a devotional book. Well done, Amy. There’s a shoutout for Amy. She doesn’t even know it’s coming.
So okay, let me get back to this episode. Where are we? Okay? So this talk about, like, visibility, yeah, even, like, we’re talking about Amy right now, like, we just like, like, and maybe we freaked her out because she didn’t know. We’re gonna mention, you know, whatever. But I think talking about, like, let’s match authority here, because visibility doesn’t mean authority, right? But for a lot of people putting a book out there, they think this means I’m, like, making myself an authority on this topic. And for a lot of people, that feels really, really uncomfortable, like I have a hard time, yeah, me too. I have a hard time even calling myself an authority. Like a lot of times I will actually say in online conferences, on my other podcast, I am just starting a conversation y’all, like, I don’t know everything like and I say that on purpose, because I don’t like thinking or, yeah, I mean, I don’t think I’m the smartest person in the room.
And so I think this is really good to unpack here, because when it feels uncomfortable to think about ourselves as an authority or an expert or writing a book, and that makes us that, right? It’s not because we don’t have any experience or insight, yeah, but we don’t want to sound like we think we’re all that like I just mentioned, like, I don’t want to be that person who acts like they’re the smartest person in the room. And, yeah, the risk, the thought of that keeps so many people from writing a book.
Becky Brown 12:41
Yeah.
Laurie Graham 12:44
It’s so sad to me that our fear of that keeps us from being the influence that I personally believe God has called us all to be. But Becky, can you talk about this? Because I know you’ve struggled with this as well, this thought of being seen as authority, and, you know, being awkward and I think I want to contrast that with the reality is, is writing a book helps somebody trust you more than creating separation?
Becky Brown 13:13
Yeah, so I want to say that humility. It’s not humble.
Laurie Graham 13:24
Okay, I just have to say I even like how you started that phrase. She’s like, Oh.
Becky Brown 13:29
Like, you can’t see me. I’m like, rubbing my head right now.
Laurie Graham 13:33
You look a little flushed. You’re turning red right now.
Becky Brown 13:37
Okay, it is not a lack of humility to share your insights. Yes, because I, like I did, I absolutely felt like, man, writing this down, it feels prideful. It feels like, oh, you should listen to me, just because blah, blah, blah, blah in that tone. Like, that’s what my voice, my inner voice, would tell me. So like, I’m the fancy person over here, and I’m like, calling myself an expert, when inside I’m like, Oh, who am I? Except I so okay, I have struggled with over six years of debilitating insomnia.
There are very few people who understand the depths of insomnia that I do and I am not saying that I have the answers and that I understand insomnia more than every doctor on the planet, and that like I am not saying that I am God in this subject at all, but I am saying that I know how how few people understand what I went through, and it is not I don’t want to be the utmost authority in the world. I’m not trying to assert my dominance by writing about this subject, but I am planning to write a devotional on my insomnia because I don’t want people out there to feel so alone. I want somebody to feel seen in their unique, hard struggle in this area. Nobody else is able to acknowledge in their real life, which so often happens so.
Laurie Graham 15:04
And who wants to be the authority in a particular area of suffering anyway? Like you think about so many posts will say, Yeah, I just joined a club I didn’t want to be part of, like the Widow Club or the Widowers Club. I just joined a club, you know, the death of a child. And I have several friends who have lost children to brain cancer, like, who wants to be part of that club? It’s not like we are choosing to be an authority, like, oh, I want to be an authority over even anything we can think about, even skill areas. But the reality is our life comes with experience not always chosen. and we do have important things to share because and because we were created to live in learning community and connection.
Becky Brown 15:50
And I mean, let’s bring faith back into the picture. Like, the reason that I am itching to write that devotional is not to talk about how hard I struggled. It’s because God gave me comfort in those times. God gave me hope in those deep, dark moments. And I so want to share that with other people in those deep, dark moments. I want to share glimpses of hope. I want to share the insights from the Lord. I want to share the Scriptures that hit me, and the concepts that hit me.
And so let’s go back to this topic of authority. It’s not about declaring yourself an expert. You’re not. Writing a book is not declaring yourself an expert. Writing a book is not a lack of humility or seeing yourself as you really are in this area, but it is you sharing, Hey, I went through this and this is what I learned, this is what I’ve seen. This is what felt important to me, and putting that into words so that somebody else can read it, because they need to hear that. They need to hear that.
Laurie Graham 16:48
Yeah, and before we make this all about suffering and how God’s moved into humility, like you might be an expert at something. Like, we’re not, we’re not downplaying that either. Like, I mean, I know a lot about working with volunteers and developing volunteers, and that is an area where I would say I have some expertise. Would I consider myself the smartest person in the room? No, maybe one of the smartest. Yeah, maybe, you know, I mean, like, I’ve just done that a lot, and it’s not even something that I feel like arrogant about, like, I just know that I’m good at it. It’s something I’ve experienced. It’s something I’ve experimented with. I do have a lot to say on that.
And so if your book idea isn’t all noble and humble, and like, you know, God did this in my suffering and pain, like, and I’m not making light of that either. Like, we’re just basically saying we all have things to share. We are all still on the learning process. Nobody’s arrived, and yet this is, this is how we do the human thing together, right? We’ve taken, the book is actually saying this, it’s not saying, I have all the answers. Writing a book is saying, here are some things I’ve taken some time to think through, and I was gonna say I’m willing to stand behind it, but I’m gonna actually say I’m willing to stand behind it for now. Yeah, because I’ve definitely taught things that I have learned new layers as I’ve gotten older. You know what I mean? Like, I’m willing to stand behind this for now, for my season from where I’m at. Here’s some things I’ve thought about, and I want to share them with you. That’s all a book is.
Becky Brown 18:24
Yeah, and it’s not proving yourself. You don’t have to spend an entire introduction or chapters like proving, oh, look, I’m worthy of talking about this like you can share like, this is just my experience. I always try to think about whenever I write blog posts or devotionals or whatever I’m writing, I always like to think about it like a coffee date. I am sitting eye to eye with somebody else. I’m not standing on stage talking at you. I am sitting eye to eye, talking with you. That’s how I always approach writing, and that’s helped me remember that there is still humility in this, that this isn’t a pride thing.
Laurie Graham 19:00
So that’s so good. I like that. Like that tons.
Becky Brown 19:04
Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So you don’t need to prove yourself. And this, it can feel calm. You can just write. You can just write, what, what you know, whether that’s quilting or knitting or cooking or, you know, like this area, like Laurie said, I wasn’t trying to box you in a suffering struggle box, but yeah, like, what, you know, people want to write about, people want to hear about it. And, yeah, they need you.
Laurie Graham 19:32
And that’s why we, I’m just gonna say we think everybody should write a book. I know that not everybody probably needs to or wants to write a book, but I kind of think everybody should, like, you know, as my kids were growing up, my experience growing up teenage and young adult, I really think every single person should work in a restaurant and should work Customer Service at the mall, like, should work retail and should work in a restaurant, because we learn so much about ourselves and other people. So, I mean, I say that to people all the time, everybody should work in a restaurant, everybody should work in a retail store. At some point in your life, because you will learn so much.
But I think it can be the same about books. And I think one thing about writing a book that works so well for all of us, is we are all already an influence. Like think sometimes people think, you know, I’m not really an influence. You are. You are to someone right now, every single one of us, we can walk into a grocery store and influence the people around us every single time. Picture the last time you walked into a grocery store, a retail store, a mall or a business, the person sitting in the chair, the person walking by, the person grabbing a cart, the person at the counter, they all influence us like God created us to be an influence, right? So through work or leadership or service or just our presence.
So like, let’s think about that we’re already an influence. Some of us carry quietly. Some of us carry it more out front, even if we’ve never thought of ourselves as an expert or having anything to share. And I think once we see our influence that way, like we’re already an influence, the question can shift a little bit.
Becky Brown 21:06
Yeah, no, I completely agree, and it does. And you know, we’re not talking about that influence making you a better person or a more worthy person, or your numbers on social media, or how many books you sell, whatever, but it does change the way that like it changes. It changes the relationship that you have with your people after they have read your book, or even know it’s there. It’s true.
Okay, you guys, my friend Katie, who is one of the most precious people on this planet, she often says things like, Oh, look, my friend, the author over here. And I just want to, like, crawl and disappear every time she says it, even though it’s true I wrote, I’ve written several books now, and I still want to just melt into my chair every time she says it, and she means it like that is a meaningful, such an impressive thing to her, you did this thing. You have this thing out there. It’s in people’s hands. It’s meaningful to people. Yeah. So how, yeah. What do you think? Have you noticed that change in how people, how your audience, sees you as well or relates to you?
Laurie Graham 22:19
Not as much for me, because I think you have been more public with your books. You know what I mean? I’m so busy with my business and my courses and my membership. You know what I mean, I haven’t talked a lot about my books, but I will just talk about, like, some things that that open up, like, after I’ve written a book. And I guess I should say and answer your question, not in my personal relationships, like when you were talking about Katie, yeah, but professionally, I think things are interesting. And what can open up after somebody writes a book, people understand what you’re about more, what you’ve been through more, they get some context.
If you have a book that you can share about your work, you don’t have to keep explaining everything from scratch. Like, I think that the branding part of like your brand authority, is that the phrase they use, brand authority, like, once you’ve written any book, even if nobody’s ever read it. You’re the brand authority now on quinoa bites, if you wrote a quinoa book recipe, right? Like, I mean, like, it’s kind of like, just having it out there can help the depth of how people know you, and even conversations go. And I know several people who’ve written books. I’m thinking of Janyne McConnaughey right now, who has written on brave and trauma in the pews and church, like church hurt and things like that. It’s opened up, like speaking opportunities and a lot of connections. And other people are studying this because she studied this, like opportunities feel more aligned like and, you know, I think you get to decide what the book does too, like we’re just talking about your first book, but.
Becky Brown 22:20
Yeah, well, and the first book is important to have a book out there, like we’ve talked about before, that clarity of, do I even like writing? Do I hate it? Am I ever going to write something else again? But so one of the things that they mention in online businesses is that you should have a presence everywhere. You don’t have to make everywhere your primary place that you show up all the time. That’s such a good point. Instagram account and a Pinterest account to meet your audience in the places they’re hanging out and find where they’re hanging out. Same is true with the book. Throw a book out there and see you’re gonna have people who will interact with your book, who will never see you on Instagram.
Laurie Graham 22:20
That’s so true. That’s so true. And you’ll have people on social media who never know you wrote a book at such. No, I love that so much. You know, don’t think of a book as like, a finish line, but it’s really fun to think about, like, what happens after you’ve written a book. You know, like, without putting a bunch of pressure on yourself, you’re not turning into a different person. But. It can change not only how people look at you or approach you, but again, I’ll go back to what I think is even more important, is it changes how we see ourselves. Like that has been the biggest shift for me. It, but it can help people see a clear way to kind of identify with you in a different way.
So. Okay, now here’s where we’re going to land this series. But if I can convince Becky to do it, we’re gonna pop on and do an impromptu behind this curtain. We’re gonna peel back the curtain and talk about our real experiences, of our personal books, and what success we’ve had, what we would do differently, the terrible mistakes, and I’m just embarrassed like I am like, I will share, I will share everything about mine, and I will see how much Becky shares about hers. But like, we have some really varied experiences, and we wanted to give you enough for you to go, go, go. Like, we don’t, Becky and I both don’t want to talk about our stuff so much, because we want this about you. But we have people who ask us, they’re like, tell us about this. Tell us about this. So we’re gonna do one little, are you? Are you game for that? Becky, can we do that?
Becky Brown 22:20
Absolutely, that’s just fun. I can’t wait to hear about your messy mistakes again. Oh my gosh, again.
Laurie Graham 22:20
There still exists out in cyberspace right now. I’m so embarrassed. But anyway, that’ll be next week. But let’s kind of kind of land this four-part series before we do the pull back the curtain. Books still matter. Books don’t matter because they make you famous, because usually they don’t. They don’t matter because they make you rich, because probably they won’t.
Laurie Graham 22:20
I think the deeper thing is they make us finishers. They make us true to our promises to ourselves, a person who did it, a person who believes their influence matters and books matter because of this and because of our call to be an influence, even if it’s quiet. It’s not about being an authority, it’s not about being the expert. It’s about being understandable and trustworthy and a good steward of the experiences God has given us to connect. To be who we are. Our voice already has influence. A book kind of gives it a place to live. Isn’t that sweet?
Laurie Graham 23:13
I like that. That’s a nice visual.
Laurie Graham 24:09
It kind of gives a place for to live. So this week’s free Action Guide along with this podcast. It’s just called the Book Clarity Map. It’s a pretty simple four quadrant thing, a simple reflection to help you see how a book naturally fits into your life, your work, your just sense of being, without turning it into this big, I don’t know, rebrand of your life or a big project, okay, so it’s just called the Book Clarity Map. You’ll find the link in the show notes. We give a free Action Guide with every podcast. If you are ready to write, though, please grab our How to Write Your First Book This Year Course. Becky and I are creating just a slew of courses, mini modules, action guides, take this podcast, put it on steroids.
If you like what we get for free, you will love what can you imagine what you get when you pay for something, right? So go grab this course, how to write your first book this year. It’s going to lead you through a bunch of steps to get this book out that are in many bites that make it possible and doable. Okay, and then next up, when you’re ready to publish, you can grab the course you wrote your book. Now let’s publish it, where we really dive deep into Amazon KDP, calmly, confidently and ready to go. The links to these courses are in the show notes. Thanks for spending time with us on Smart Soulful Business. If this series has helped you, helped you see books yourself or anything a little differently, share it with a friend who’s also building something meaningful. We can’t wait to talk to you next week. Your voice matters, your work matters. So go team.
